Automobiles, lorries, buses and other modes of road transport, are those that we see on our roads on a day-by-day basis, well at least the majority of us do. Now have you ever wondered what they could be used for instead of just being driven around and also being blasted apart by metal music on the CD player? Well we have the solution. What if the various modes of road transport were actually representing Heavy Metal genres? Sounds bizarre doesn't it? Well with each vehicle we have rated it out of 10 under our own 'Horn Rating' scale which grades the vehicle based on it's level of Metalhead attitude and is as follows (don't take the grading seriously, unless stated):
0-2 - Poseur
3-4 - Gentle Headbang
5-6 - Crowdsurf
7-8 - Moshpit
9-10 - Wall of Death
N.B. Not all the songs relate to the genre aforementioned as it became too complicated in picking a song with the greatest level of aptness in correlation to the vehicle in hand.
We also did not include any lorries or motorbikes simply because we could not think of any that would befit the metal music genres; if you do have any ideas we can add then feel free to suggest them.
AVANT GARDE METAL
Vehicle: Ariel Atom
Horn (\m/) Rating: 6/10
It seems that Formula 1 has just became road-legal (discounting the Monaco and Singapore race tracks per se)? Welcoming into the limelight is the Ariel Atom, this is a card that is produced at a rate of 100 per year and therefore is another made-by-hand car. With an acceleration rate of 0 to 60 mph (97 km/h) in 2.89 seconds, it is the 3rd fastest car in terms of 0-60 mph acceleration. Furthermore it is one vehicle that really stands out as an experiment, especially with the knowledge that it was first built at Coventry University and then ended up having a unique exoskeleton body fitted to it. Coincidentally Avant Garde relates to experimenting, however the song of choice comes from the Melodic Death Metal style. Scar Symmetry's 'Deviate From The Form' would best work here as Ariel deviated from the basic car shape form and characteristics.
Vehicle: Nissan 350Z 2-door
Horn (\m/) Rating: 4/10
Death Metal is uniquely represented in the automobile world, because the Nissan 350Z 2-door has over the years been causing havoc in the USA, mainly due to the fact it is a major contributor to car death-related accidents. Here we quote that "143 deaths per million registrations were Nissan 350Z drivers. So how befitting is it that this car should represent the Death Metal music genre, regardless of it speaking for itself. Now as for the song of choice that would be played to represent this vehicle, it would have to be 'The Final Front' by Hail of Bullets because of the negativity surrounding this metallic four-wheeled coffin. Moreover it could be argued this model was a nail in the coffin for Nissan, it doesn't even look remotely good-looking.
Vehicle: Land Rover Defender
Horn (\m/) Rating: 4/10
Can you classify mud as a form of sludge or not? Of course you can, therefore representing Sludge Metal is the Land Rover Defender, highly recognizable as a favorite off-road vehicle amongst the farming communities due to it's brilliance at dealing with off-road conditions and the amount of times it is driven around with mud splattered along the sides (almost nostalgic for those Emmerdale fans). As for the song, we feel that the song to represent this countryside monster would have to be any song by Milking The Goatmachine, purely because of the evident farm-pun within the band name. Oh hell, go on and milk that goat till it runs dry fellow metalheads and prep yourself to perform 'Heavy Metal Farmer' at the same time. But why the low score? Well it does not pass itself off as anything remotely wicked looking.
SPEED METAL & POWER METAL
Vehicle: Koenigsegg One:1
Horn (\m/) Rating: 10/10
As luxury generally comes in pairs usually (money and the status symbol pair per se), Speed Metal and Power Metal would best suit the new Koenigsegg One:1 which was unveiled this year at the Geneva Motor Show in Switzerland. With a top speed of 273 mph (which is faster than a Bugatti Veyron) and harboring a 5.0 liter twin-turbo V8 engine delivering 1140bhp, you would not want to blink twice at this monster unless you want to evidently miss it. The power and speed are certainly there and so this is one aspect that proves itself as worthy of being represented this way in the metal music world. As for the song, we have decided to pick one of Sweden's notable exports Sonic Syndicate, their song "Beauty & The Beast" would go well with this car as it has beauty and sounds like a beast. Oh and they are made by hand....
© 2011-2018 Global Metal Apocalypse
This page is purely for general music discussions and thoughts that fall into the periphery of the music industry.