Automobiles, lorries, buses and other modes of road transport, are those that we see on our roads on a day-by-day basis, well at least the majority of us do. Now have you ever wondered what they could be used for instead of just being driven around and also being blasted apart by metal music on the CD player? Well we have the solution. What if the various modes of road transport were actually representing Heavy Metal genres? Sounds bizarre doesn't it? Well with each vehicle we have rated it out of 10 under our own 'Horn Rating' scale which grades the vehicle based on it's level of Metalhead attitude and is as follows (don't take the grading seriously, unless stated): 0-2 - Poseur 3-4 - Gentle Headbang 5-6 - Crowdsurf 7-8 - Moshpit 9-10 - Wall of Death N.B. Not all the songs relate to the genre aforementioned as it became too complicated in picking a song with the greatest level of aptness in correlation to the vehicle in hand. We also did not include any lorries or motorbikes simply because we could not think of any that would befit the metal music genres; if you do have any ideas we can add then feel free to suggest them. AVANT GARDE METAL Vehicle: Ariel Atom Country: UK Horn (\m/) Rating: 6/10 It seems that Formula 1 has just became road-legal (discounting the Monaco and Singapore race tracks per se)? Welcoming into the limelight is the Ariel Atom, this is a card that is produced at a rate of 100 per year and therefore is another made-by-hand car. With an acceleration rate of 0 to 60 mph (97 km/h) in 2.89 seconds, it is the 3rd fastest car in terms of 0-60 mph acceleration. Furthermore it is one vehicle that really stands out as an experiment, especially with the knowledge that it was first built at Coventry University and then ended up having a unique exoskeleton body fitted to it. Coincidentally Avant Garde relates to experimenting, however the song of choice comes from the Melodic Death Metal style. Scar Symmetry's 'Deviate From The Form' would best work here as Ariel deviated from the basic car shape form and characteristics. DEATH METAL Vehicle: Nissan 350Z 2-door Country: Japan Horn (\m/) Rating: 4/10 Death Metal is uniquely represented in the automobile world, because the Nissan 350Z 2-door has over the years been causing havoc in the USA, mainly due to the fact it is a major contributor to car death-related accidents. Here we quote that "143 deaths per million registrations were Nissan 350Z drivers. So how befitting is it that this car should represent the Death Metal music genre, regardless of it speaking for itself. Now as for the song of choice that would be played to represent this vehicle, it would have to be 'The Final Front' by Hail of Bullets because of the negativity surrounding this metallic four-wheeled coffin. Moreover it could be argued this model was a nail in the coffin for Nissan, it doesn't even look remotely good-looking. SLUDGE METAL Vehicle: Land Rover Defender Country: UK Horn (\m/) Rating: 4/10 Can you classify mud as a form of sludge or not? Of course you can, therefore representing Sludge Metal is the Land Rover Defender, highly recognizable as a favorite off-road vehicle amongst the farming communities due to it's brilliance at dealing with off-road conditions and the amount of times it is driven around with mud splattered along the sides (almost nostalgic for those Emmerdale fans). As for the song, we feel that the song to represent this countryside monster would have to be any song by Milking The Goatmachine, purely because of the evident farm-pun within the band name. Oh hell, go on and milk that goat till it runs dry fellow metalheads and prep yourself to perform 'Heavy Metal Farmer' at the same time. But why the low score? Well it does not pass itself off as anything remotely wicked looking. SPEED METAL & POWER METAL Vehicle: Koenigsegg One:1 Country: Sweden Horn (\m/) Rating: 10/10 As luxury generally comes in pairs usually (money and the status symbol pair per se), Speed Metal and Power Metal would best suit the new Koenigsegg One:1 which was unveiled this year at the Geneva Motor Show in Switzerland. With a top speed of 273 mph (which is faster than a Bugatti Veyron) and harboring a 5.0 liter twin-turbo V8 engine delivering 1140bhp, you would not want to blink twice at this monster unless you want to evidently miss it. The power and speed are certainly there and so this is one aspect that proves itself as worthy of being represented this way in the metal music world. As for the song, we have decided to pick one of Sweden's notable exports Sonic Syndicate, their song "Beauty & The Beast" would go well with this car as it has beauty and sounds like a beast. Oh and they are made by hand.... NU METAL Vehicle: Vauxhall Corsa Country: UK Horn (\m/) Rating: 0/10 The Vauxhall Corsa is considered the top Chav car ever made, therefore it needs to be ridiculed for many reasons besides that. Firstly it's sheer ugliness makes the Smart car very smart, and it's reputation within the motoring world gives Blood On The Dance Floor a rare acknowledgement as 'a decent music group'. Now we would expect many of you would then ask, why on earth is it representing Nu Metal? Well, because of the associations attached to it regarding Chav aesthetics and the whole 'I am so tough' attitude (when they are just kittens afraid of their own shadows), meaning it's trying too hard to be cool. However we're adamant that Vauxhall did not mean for the Corsa to fall into the hands of the Chav's, but at least it's selling... furthermore we are not saying Nu Metal is Chav music either. As for the song of choice, it has to be Slipknot's 'Before I Forget'. METALCORE Vehicle: Aston Martin Vanquish Country: UK Horn (\m/) Rating: 9/10 Here we have one of 007's most recognizable cars, the Aston Martin Vanquish (known as the Vanish in the film 'Die Another Day'), is armed with adaptive camouflage, rockets, machine guns, shotguns, tire spikes and radial thermal image display amongst other spares and wares that Q (John Cleese) had installed, giving it an embodiment of a tank full of brutality and featuring grizzly looks (of course we're only talking of the 007 car). Thus we feel that this vehicle has enough brutality and menace to pummel out some riffs in the Metalcore style, moreover it's titanium bodywork and ferocious engine sound adds to it's credibility as the Bring Me The Horizon of the automobile world (although we also say any Metalcore band can be represented by this car, so for those who dislike BMTH, behave). As for the chosen song, it is 'Gears' by Miss May I, another deliberate music pun. DOOM METAL Vehicle: Mercedes-Benz E hearse. Country: Germany Horn (\m/) Rating: 5/10 To be honest no one likes to see this vehicle pass you no matter what travel method you are doing. But it does have a dark feeling attached to it and also delivers the doom and gloom of death passing towards a funeral or service. Therefore we feel that the hearse is best associated with Doom Metal and so advancing on from that, the vehicle chosen is the Mercedes-Benz E model, this is because we've already had a number of British cars on this post, (we want to keep up the global diversity) but also it seems that these are fairly popular amongst the European funeral services (here we're judging by the numbers we see on the British roads), however Mercedes-Benz cars always have that Gothic aesthetic about them. As for the song of choice, we have gone for Lacuna Coil's 'Trip Of Darkness'. STONER METAL Vehicle: Volkswagen Type 2 Country: Germany Horn (\m/) Rating: 5/10 Let's be honest here, the hippie movement was engulfing the Volkswagen Type 2 with such force that it left it's scar as perhaps one of the most iconic campers in automobile history. Naturally hippies smoke and stand for peace, well a Stoner is someone who regularly does drugs and in particular marijuana, therefore there is a clear correlation here. Stoner Metal and the Volkswagen Type 2 are a marriage in heaven and possibly serves as a stark reminder that Stoner Metal is one of those peripheral genres, not totally embraced nor well represented (nor is it's cousin Stoner Rock). It was hard to think of a song that could fit the Volkswagen Type 2, so we opted for 'Hung Out To Dry' by Fu Manchu, play it loud campers... VIKING METAL Vehicle: Zenvo STI Country: Denmark Horn (\m/) Rating: 9/10 For once Denmark has found something other than Lego, bacon and of course metal to export. Fresh off the sports car counter is the Zenvo STI, now as the Viking's originated from Norway (who does not seem to have their own domestic manufacturers) and Denmark, we opted for the latter to represent Viking Metal. Moreover we would love to see this car storm the roads en mass, as if to deliver a modern Viking raid in a whole different class. It looks fierce, it's highly powerful, very defiant and yet whilst it's top speed is 233 mph, there are only 15 units produced. The song to wield this machine with would be Tyr's 'By The Sword In My Hand' as one of the lines reads "By the sword in my hand, I will conquer the land, I will decimate and decapitate, Those who question the sword in my hand" - need we say more? ALTERNATIVE METAL Vehicle: Tata Starbus Country: India Horn (\m/) Rating: 2/10 The funny thing is though, this vehicle does not even look metal enough, yet India's Tata Starbus does what it is supposed to do, carry passengers from A to B, battling the traditional Indian rush hour of the major cities along the way. As far as buses go, it does not even remotely look impressive; that sentiment is reserved for the American 'bendy-buses'. Since this is an alternate option to personal transport (car, motorbike, etc), we decided to place it under the Alternative Metal sub-genre, funnily enough the genre is not that well received within the metal community as it seems to be a peripheral genre that somehow stabs the popular metal genre's in the back, but we adore it and so hence the song for this beast would be 'Everybody's Fool' by Evanescence. VISUAL KEI Vehicle: Mitsuoka Orochi Country: Japan Horn (\m/) Rating: 7/10 Visual Kei is all about the glam looks and rock 'n' roll, and it seems that only Japanese musicians can pull of this style of music. One vehicle that sums up the Visual Kei style is the Mitsuoka Orochi, with only 400 units produced it certainly can be considered as an oddity within the automobile industry. Sure it's front is ugly as a cow's backside, or you could argue it looks like a fish or a dolphins face (that's insulting them though), but that's not to disrespect the marine wildlife at all. So as much as the Orochi is unique to Japanese tastes, so is the Visual Kei movement and so the two tie together nicely. As for exports, leave it to Toyota, Nissan, Mitsubushi and Suzuki. The song for this car is D'espairsRay's - 'Garnet'. PROGRESSIVE METAL Vehicle: Venturi Fétish Country: Monaco Horn (\m/) Rating: 7/10 This is almost certainly a progression in the automobile industry, welcoming to the forefront of electric sports cars is the Venturi Fétish. The Monegasque (Monaco) manufacturer snapped up the Progressive Metal music genre for the aforementioned reasons. It is expected to be superseded by the Venturi Fétish 2 in 2015 and is sure to drag up new features and gimmicks that will need a bigger battery with greater cell capacity. The current model reaches 62mph within 4 seconds, so consider this as a top-end luxurious toy that should be used sparingly, ironically Monaco is not big enough for it to do some serious mileage and so sadly may as well end up as just a flash status symbol. The song that would fit this would be 'EC-10' by Breach The Void. BLACK METAL Vehicle: Tauro Sport Auto V8 Spider Country: Spain Horn (\m/) Rating: 6/10 Out of all of the vehicles we have put alongside various metal genres, this was possibly the hardest to do. Black Metal offers very little leeway in this scenario and thus once we saw this picture of the Tauro Sport Auto V8 Spider in black, it had to be that this Spanish car represented the Black Metal music genre. With a top speed of 183 mph, you can understand why the bull is the brand logo and hence the link is made with the music genre, in that both offer bullish and powerful aesthetics. Black Metal with it's unrelenting double bass drums and ear-splitting shrieking and on the other hand, the Tauro Spider has an edgy look and delivers the aggression of a classic roadster. The song that we think best suits this car is 'The Pentagram Burns' by Satyricon. INDUSTRIAL METAL Vehicle: Lobini H1 Country: Brazil Horn (\m/) Rating: 7/10 Brazil's Lobini H1 aligns with Industrial Metal for two important reasons: it features a fiberglass body shell and has a carbon steel tubular chassis. So you can tell that these materials are made with extreme attention to detail and care inside a factory, hence the 'industrial' part. Sure Brazil would not be the first country to pop into your head for sports cars, but adding that to the cocktail mix of Brazilian waxing, bikini bottoms, Sepultura, soccer and samba, this would call for either a long night in (get your coat, you've pulled) or a long meaningful drive to FIFA World Cup matchs in style. Some girls who dig their sports cars may well deem this ride 'hot' and so coupling that with the Industrial Metal genre, there is only one song that covers both totally, that is 'Feuer Frei' by Rammstein. GLAM METAL Vehicle: Rimac Concept One Country: Croatia Horn (\m/) Rating: 7/10 Look at that beauty of a beast, such a car motoring down the M25 would set heads swiveling, this ride speaks volumes (not it's engine mind you) as probably the most glam electric sports car. Yes you read that right, 'electric sports car' (just like our Progressive Metal entry) - and no it does fit on a life-like version of the scalextric set (dream on) - bulking at $980,000 it does not come cheap (nor do the authentic Kiss costumes), however achieving 0-60 mph in 2.8 seconds is powerful enough to wipe the make-up off of Gene Simmons' face. Sadly this car looks only set to remain as a status symbol, an environmentalists at that, but none the less this is a car that Croatia ought to be proud of, as for the song, well it has to be Black Veil Brides - 'The Legacy' (although some will argue whether it is metal or not). THRASH METAL Vehicle: Bugatti Veyron Super Sport Country: Italy Horn (\m/) Rating: 10/10 The Bugatti Veyron Super Sport is the fastest street-legal car ever made, topping out at just under 268mph (431 km/h) the Bugatti is now sadly a subsidiary of Germany's Volkswagen; we say sadly, we cannot imagine this car with a Volkswagen chassis - it wouldn't last 5 seconds. The reason we placed the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport under Thrash Metal is because it would realistically thrash any car in a race. The only viable opponents it has are the Hennessey Venom GT (see it here - 270.5mph) and to the extremes of the Bloodhound SSC (see it here - 1,000 mph (dramatization)); as you will see, it is not a real car. Slayer's 'Angel of Death' would fit this car very nicely. GRINDCORE Vehicle: Hummer H2 Country: USA Horn (\m/) Rating: 5/10 Let's be honest, the Hummer H2 is simply a bulked up military-style looking Range Rover or equivalent SUV or SUT, sure it has a rather menacing shape in it's arsenal, but it's brash image and cringe-level of aesthetics drag down it's authenticity as a true metalhead's vehicle; actually no, this is the sort of vehicle that guys wearing leopard print clothes, pimps and guys in tight-leather pants would drive (we say this in jest naturally). Actually it does place itself perfectly for the Grindcore genre, full of extreme power and brutal sounds, but poor on it's attempts at making it a striking image amongst the SUV / SUT universe. Shoving the negatives aside for a moment, it does thunder along well and would grind anyone out of the road as if it was a small tank, but only for a few seconds... ' Killing Planet Earth' by Brutal Truth should fit this vehicle well. SYMPHONIC METAL Vehicle: Bolwell Mk X Nagari Country: Australia Horn (\m/) Rating: 7/10 How cool is it to name a car model using a word from a native tribal language such as the Aborigine language? Well Australia's Bolwell did just that and used 'Nagari' which in English means 'flowing', that coupled with a engine that sounds so smooth yet aggressive at the same time, whilst the car does seem to flow across the road as if to mimic a swimming swan. Therefore Symphonic Metal is best represented by this car, oh and we figured we didn't have a vehicle from that part of the world on the post, but that's just a minimal reason to why it's here. Although we think the bonnet of the vehicle does not suit the body itself, but just imagine Simone Simons, Alissa White-Gluz, Angela Gossow or Charlotte Wessels in this car, now who would not want to drive it? Within Temptation's 'Ice Queen' would probably work well with this vehicle. GROOVE METAL Vehicle: Laraki Borac Country: Morocco Horn (\m/) Rating: 8/10 Come on who would have thought that Morocco actually produces it's own cars? Well they do and it turns out that the Laraki car brand is owned by Abdeslam Laraki, who in turn is a manufacturer of luxurious yachts; the King of Bahrain is one of his clients. Turning our attention towards the vehicle itself, it debuted at the 2005 Geneva Motor Show and although it was planned to be put into production, a final design was never designed and thus probably did not see the light of day. However it definitely represents Groove Metal in that it is powered by a Mercedes-Benz V12 6.0L engine, reaches 60mph in 4.5 seconds and maxes out at 193 mph. Yeah we can just imagine this trying to evade a sandstorm, there again a casual rev in Marrakesh might not go amiss. Five Finger Death Punch's 'The Pride' would best fit this car. GOTHIC METAL Vehicle: Marussia B2 Country: Russia Horn (\m/) Rating: 9/10 The final entry for 'What if Heavy Metal genres were represented by road vehicles?' is the Marussia B2 of Russia. The reason why we chose this vehicle is purely because one it is black and naturally that is the main Goth color, but also we wanted to avoid using Mercedes-Benz twice. It can be loaded with a 3.5L V6 or 2.8L Turbocharged V6 engine that pumps out around 300 to 520 torque respectively with a max speed of 193mph. Not much else can be said about the vehicle other than if you wanted to buy it, it would cost around €100,000 (£82,227.80) to buy, so make sure you get the cheque book out and ensure that where you plan to drive it, it actually would run well because we cannot imagine this on icy roads, unless you have extremely well-equipped spikes to grip into the ice and snow. The best song to go with this would be Delain's 'Where Is The Blood?'
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